Trying Again

Wow- talk about sporadic blogging. I haven't posted since December. That's pretty lame. It may have been December of last year even.



But now I'm back - things have been stressful, busy and careening out of control. I'm going to see if blogging will help me get things in perspective. Creative outlets are usually a good way of dealing with stress, but sometimes I feel the pressure of blogging creates more stress than it relieves. So I'll have to see which way the blog-wind is blowing...



Things on my mind...



1. Halle. She was recently diagnosed with Crohn's disease and it's been a whirlwind of doctor's appointments, trips to the pharmacy, rides to her school, phone calls and constant montioring of Halle's progress, health, and overall well-being. Her diagnosis brings a sense of relief and a sense of impending doom all at once. Overall, knowing what is wrong with her is much better than the past 9 - 12 months of wondering what in the world was going on with my formerly happy, smiley, sparkly daughter. Having her on medications that are controlling her symptoms and lessening her pain is wonderful, and seeing her interested in life and eating and smiling is all I've really wanted for a while now.

But knowing your child has a chronic, life-long illness that can't be cured is also somewhat devastating. There's no way to tell if her Crohn's will interfere with her life or if she'll be one of the lucky Crohn's patients that doesn't deal with pain, gastric issues or surgery. The poor kid has had a multitude of blood tests, surgery, an MRI, tons of appointments, has volunteered to be part of research studies at Children's Hospital and is taking three different kinds of medication daily. All while trying to be a regular third grade student who keeps up with her homework, participates in after school clubs, and plays soccer on the weekends. It hasn't been easy for anyone.



2. Taxes. I. Must. Do. Our. Taxes. Having the IRS give us an extension until May 11th because we live in a county that flooded twice in March isn't really a good thing. I just want to get them done. I'm half done, but I need federal tax id numbers for two different places and have yet to call and get the numbers. Any day now. Really.



3. Work. I am behind. I am behind in my paperwork, behind in the meetings I have to schedule. I am constantly trying to keep up and it hasn't been working. Luckily my bosses are very understanding and realize that the pressure of having a sick child has made it impossible for me to get anything done from home and no one has really called me on all the days I've had to take off. But knowing how much work I have to do is really, really, stressful. I'll get to it - one of these days...



4. School. Not work-school. Grad class. I am taking a graduate class called Methods and Materials for Working with Students of Moderate Disabilities. I like the class. I like the professor. But man, it's a lot of work, and I have trouble staying up until 9:00 pm every Tuesday. I have a few major assignments to do and not that many weeks left. And I have to do my work paperwork before I can do my school work. As much as I like the class, I'm looking foward to it being over. No classes this summer, for sure.



5. The summer. I don't know yet if I'll have my summer job. I hope I do, we could really use the money and the hours are great. But last year there was an issue over me taking two days off and I got the impression that my boss (who is my current boss's mother) wasn't happy with me. But by the end of the summer things seemed fine between us, and she asked if I was interested in coming back. So I applied and I haven't heard yet. And if I am working I need to find morning programs for the kids for the weeks I'm working, and we need to figure out if we can go to the Cape or not. If I'm not, I'll have to figure out if I want to tutor to make some extra money and we'll have to make sure we get to the Cape. It's almost May, I feel like I should know by now. So, is no news bad news? Or am I jumping the gun? I hate waiting and seeing. It's not my strong point.



And that is a short list of what is on my mind at this point in time...